Mission Impossible
by Kohari
Summary: A more comical sequel to To Break the Chain. The Blitz's missions don't always go so well. Examples? Well... FYI, this has nothing to do with, nor is it similar to, the movie that this seems to be named after. Discontinued until I get some reviews.
1. Transmission 37

Mission Impossible 

Kohari: Okay, this is the sequel to "To Break the Chain." If you haven't read it, it's okay. Anyways, this story isn't supposed to be like its predecessor. This one's SUPPOSED to be funny, but...Oh, well. Hope you enjoy it. And I apologize in advance if I'm copying anyone's numbers with this. It just popped into my head in Civics class.

We all know the disclaimer by now. If you don't, build a bridge and get over it.

Transmission #37 - Operation: Sprite.

_Objective: Retrieve the prankster responsible for minor accidents in the human world. _

Danger Level: 2. (snort)

--Begin Transmission--

The Blitz had had quite some trouble with a mischievous little devil called a sprite. This one was risking the exposure of the Spirit World, even though, being a minor problem, it was playfully pranking humans. Of course, since it was a smaller problem, the Blitz had been recruited for this mission. They currently were pursuing it in a deserted park.

"Bastard! Come back here, runt!" Todd shouted at it, annoying with its disturbing giggling, and his heart pumping from having to run so fast to keep up with it. The others were waiting in a large circle for him to chase the deranged creature to them to pounce on. (Where does this sound familiar from?)

"I said get back here, ya little -!" Todd didn't get to finish his command. Just as he was about to catch up with the nuisance, it took a sharp turn to its right. Todd, realizing what had happened at the last second couldn't stop in time to avoid a tree that was conveniently placed directly in front of it. The others' faces screwed up into a wince as their teammate collided with the tree and knocked him out immediately.

Kohari stepped up. "You're not escaping me, ya rotten weasel!" she threatened and took off to accomplish what her friend could not. 'Man, this thing's fast!' she thought to herself. 'But I can do better.' She sped up, accidentally tripping over a rock. As she was launched into the air, she made a grab for the pest. But before she could snag it, however, it increased its velocity, out of her grasp. She landed flat on her face, the menace they were after laughing his head off at the girl's blunder. Her face turned red with embarrassment and she laid her forehead on the ground. "Nobody saw that!"

Mal sighed. This was ridiculous. Dmitri decided to try his hand. He made rude faces at it, using its own annoying techniques against it. This mocking, in turn, angered the troublemaker and he began to chase the gang leader around the park, flames spewing from its mouth. It acted like it was trying to fry the detective's ass...literally.

Mal shook his head, feeling his teammates were hopeless. 'Always making something so simple so complicated,' he thought. Dmitri ran by him, hollering like a wildcat, the sprite hot on his tail. As he passed by, Mal gripped the ugly little demon by the back of its neck, catching it just like that, as though it were nothing, despite the struggle it was putting up.

Dmitri stared at him in disbelief. Todd, who had revived in time to see the capture, leaned back against the tree in a manner that told them he was thinking, 'All that work for nothing!' Kohari, still laying on the ground and had watched the whole scene, propped herself up on her elbows in a slight pout that she had been so easily topped.

"Remind me again how you did that?" Dmitri was in shock, and Kohari burst into spontaneous laughter. Who knew what went through that woman's head? Todd used the tree as a prop to pick himself up.

Koenma's voice came over the communicator as Mal relayed that they had the sprite in custody. "Good work, team. You finished just in time. I want you to head over to the hospital; it seems that there's a loony psychic who refuses to cooperate for the vaccinations. Random objects are levitating and flying everywhere. Get there ASAP."

Todd grunted wearily and fell back to the ground. The sprite was transported back to headquarters, disappearing with a _pop_! Kohari stopped laughing instantly as her eyes widened before she let her head drop back onto the dirt. Dmitri sighed and shook his head, while Mal banged his lightly against a few trees. NOT...be happening.

--End Transmission--


	2. Transmission 54

Mission Impossible 

Transmission #54 – Operation: Brrr.

_Objective: Retrieve the sapphire set in gold ring located in Iceland._

_Danger level: 4_

>Begin Transmission>

The Blitz shivered into their large, supposedly warm beaver pelts, Kohari snuggling into her pink mink jacket ("Fabulous Furs"), pulling it tightly around her. They clung to their coats as though their lives depended on it, fighting sleepiness and their way up the mountain path they were climbing.

Much of the journey, they hadn't spoken, their numb lips slightly blue with cold. Kohari finally broke the silence with that age old, dreaded question. "Are we there yet?" she called against the fierce, freezing winds, for the rest of the team was far ahead of her. The "breeze" nearly drowned out her words. After a while of ignoring her whining complaints, it became somewhat silent again. At least, until…

A small shriek pierced the chilly atmosphere. It was actually just a loud squeal, but that didn't keep the others from being alerted. Concerned, they all whirled around to investigate. All they saw was a soaking wet Kohari sitting poutingly on the snow, cursing the ice. (She fell. Duh!)

They all shook their heads, thinking she was hopeless, and continued on, not stopping to help pull her back to her feet. She ran to catch up with them. One glance over the side of the mountain told her she was afraid of heights. She overtook them, grabbing Dmitri's arm in her fear. Man, that girl had a death grip.

It was silent again, with the exception of Todd's sniffling. It was apparent he had a slight cold. So did Kohari. She started sniffing hard. "A-A-!" Dmitri pinched her nose to plug it up, and she sighed with relief. "Achoo!" Todd was the culprit. Dmitri slapped his forehead in frustration, and at the same time, they all heard creaking. In a hoarse whisper, he began to lecture them on how essential it was for them to be quiet. Snow began to cascade down the rocks behind him, picking up speed, and he ignored their attempts to point it out. They ran. Dmitri, stunned at their sudden abandoning act, turned around. Screaming, he ran, too, passing them as the avalanche chased them down.

They safely reached the village at the bottom of the mountain, and checked out the damage.

"Look!" Dmitri pointed to the tip-top of the mountain, knocking Mal in the head and off-balance. "There's something shiny!" SPLASH! Dmitri looked, realizing he had pushed Mal into a hot spring (That's the thing about Iceland. Snow and ice at the top of the mountains, and hot springs at the bottom.). "Um…oops? Sorry, Mal." The addressed peeked his head over the water, glaring. He took Dmitri's outstretched hand and pulled himself out.

"Well, let's go!"

They trudged back to the top of the mountain with considerably less difficulty now that there wasn't as much snow. Once there, they saw a golden shrine, the ring they sought clasped in a ball of light. Kohari took it hesitantly, examining it. They all gathered around, backs to the shrine.

They failed to notice that the middle square (about 3 ft x 3 ft) in the shrine was sinking into the bottom of the shrine, leaving a big gap like a well. When it rose again, the sound alerted the team, and they turned around to see on the square…

"RABID PENGUINS!" Once again, they sprinted down the mountain, this time closely pursued by crazed, foaming penguins.

They brought the ring back to Koenma. "Excellent, team." He slipped it on his finger, and admired it closely.

"So, who's it for?" Kohari asked nosily.

"Yeah, they must've been pretty special for something like this," Dmitri added.

"Huh?" (Koenma)

"Who's it for?" (Blitz)

"Um…no one."

"Oh, cool!" Kohari exclaimed. "It must have special powers to help save the world!"

"No…" Koenma interrupted. "I just thought it looked pretty."

It was the team's turn to be stunned. "We went through all that just 'cause you thought it was pretty?" Dmitri checked, threateningly. The Blitz cracked their knuckles. Koenma gulped.

End Transmission


	3. Transmission 09

**Mission Impossible**

Transmission 09 – Operation: Fries

_Objective: Retrieve a tasty snack for Koenma._

Danger Level: 1 

(Beginning Transmission…)

Todd walked up to the McDonald's across the road. Many passing pedestrians stared past him at the weird, swirling opening that divided the worlds behind him, whispering. He didn't notice.

He approached the door, sighing as he did so. His first big solo mission, and it wasn't big. It wasn't even a mission, for that matter. More like an errand. That's probably what it was. Stupid him, gullible enough to have taken this thing. The vortex remained, attracting a crowd.

"Do you think it's real?" one person asked as a silly little kid tried to touch it. When his hand went through, his mother dragged him away, worried at what it could be. It was dismissed as being part of a movie or something.

The bell attached to the door tinkled delightfully as he stepped inside the restaurant. The Mexican at the counter looked at him, then tossed the dirty rag he had been using to wipe the counter 'clean' onto the floor behind the cash registers. (Nothing against McDonald's or Mexicans, it's just that I'm making this one crappy.)

"May…I…help you…sir…?" the Mexican asked slowly, trying to speak English with a large effort. A short Mexican glared at the visitor from the kitchen, then went back to flipping hamburgers.

"I'd like a size large pack of French/Freedom (take your pick, folks, cuz I know some people are prejudiced that much) Fries, and that'll be it," Todd told him, slapping some money on the counter (Someone's in a bad mood…).

The Mexican looked at him, then at the money. "I-ah no speak English."

Todd blinked a minute. He tried again. "I want some French fries," he told the guy nice and slow.

"I no speak English." ('Perfected')

"I. Want. Some. French. Fries." A little louder.

"I no speak English." Ditto. (Pokemon pops outta nowhere. Authoress: Get outta here, shapeshifter! –kicks it into space-)

"I WANT SOME FRENCH FRIES!" Todd yelled.

That's the funny thing about Americans. When someone can't get what we're saying, we think screaming it louder will help them understand.

"I NO SPEAK ENGLISH!" They were in each other's faces now.

"YOU LIVE IN F-CKIN' AMERICA AND YOU CAN'T SPEAK F-CKIN' ENGLISH!"

Angry, the Mexican pointed up at the menu. Everything was in Spanish. Todd colored a beet red.

"Oh." Embarrassing. Seemingly under calm control, he walked back out the door and through the barrier, which, surprisingly, didn't disappear. Everyone for miles around heard the shout that followed as Todd demanded from Koenma, "YOU SENT ME TO MEXICO!" It shook the ground and a few birds flew out of a tree beside the McDonald's building.

The scene switches to Koenma's office as the prince responded, "Huh? No," as though confused and surprised at such an accusation and the puzzled expression that came over Todd's face.

Back in the restaurant, a Mexican woman came out of the supply closet and pushed a button beside the soft-serve machine. The panels on the menu spun 180 degrees, revealing on their backs and English menu.

The three workers peeled off their latex masks, showing themselves to be none other than Mal, Kohari and Dmitri. They burst into laughter at the chaos.


End file.
